If I haven't mentioned it before, I have a $700 blender...yup I do...I'm super cool. Actually it's a Vita Mix and it's supposed to make the best frozen beverages in the world but who would know about that in my house. Since I have this golden blender ( which I actually had a prescription for) I took Alex off the "box o' formula" that he has been basically living on for 2+ years. Kind of scary right....hell yeah! So now I blend (liquify) all sorts of fun stuff and jam it into his tummy via tummy button/connector/syringe. Easy right? Hell no...not easy because all my people (Cardiologist/Pulmonologist/GI/Feeding therapists and neighbors are all up in arms over calories. "He has to have a certain amount of calories in a day" or "He can't lose weight" those are my favorites. Really he can't lose weight? No dumb ass...I CAN'T lose weight....I try but I CAN'T. Alex can lose weight because you people were so freaked out over the last surgery that you pumped him up with everything BUT steroids and he was a fatty. But regardless they have me all freaked out. I have measured and weighed everything. I have now decided to feed him like a 2 year old just better. So he has Cheerios or Raisin Bran, milk and 1/2 yogurt for breakfast. It's about 200 calories...but he doesn't get all 200 calories b/c normal people don't have their breakfast stuck to the side of the blender. Damn! So now I have to figure out how to make 2000 calories worth of liquid food, that fits inside of 3 syringes over 5 times a day so thats about 450 per meal...math bad....AND then it hit me....MCDONALDS!! I hate McD's. It's not my thing. Something that I do not enjoy...I also hate veggies so it's not a health decision but more of a foul greasy smell kind of a thing. BUT that Sperlock guy got me thinking. If Alex was "normal" he'd be chowing down on a happy meal on occasion...so what if the happy meal went in the blender? That would have to be a bjillion calories right there. The other thing I realized was that I was feeding him too well. It was like the kid was on the South Beach diet...healthy fats, veggies, fruit...milk (skim)...no carbs. How do you gain weight without carbs. Personally I was avoiding the carbs in the blender b/c they kind of turn into paste but it's a learning thing. So that's the plan and I guess the docs will just have to bite me if they don't like it. It's not like they love me now. But, back to the original thought, Alex has decided that french fries are good...not to eat...but to hold and wear as a hat. But it's progress...I guess. He likes the ones at Chilis b/c he licks his fingers afterwards. He is so my kid....all about the salt. We now have 2 "lickable" foods...Cheetos and French Fries. So WOO HOO on the fries! If anyone has any other salty, but not easily breakable items that coulb go in his mouth I'm open for suggestions. he was playing with some Ritz crackers and accidently took a bite ( I was soooooo excited) and freaked out (me no longer excited) because he's never had anything in his mouth before and he had no idea what to do with it...chewing? What's this chewing you speak of??? So I stuck my finger in there and yanked it out and yes he bit me and it hurt....like I said...chewing??? Teeth...what the hell are these things for??? Hopefully he'll get braver..I'm not all that hopeful. Tyson is just as bad...picky, picky, picky...
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