So I guess my Volvo is finally cool, all because of Twilight, or at least that's what I heard at school today from an 8th grade girl. "That's what I want when I'm 16, a Volvo (drool)"...hmmmm....ok...swedish safety is cool. Nope Edward is cool and I'm just lucky enough to take advantage of it when I can. Tyson knows this little girl, he knows all the girls from Kindergarten up to 8th grade, that's my boy. But after Tyson went to school I took Alex to the doctor. The Gastro-intestinal guy. Woo Hoo. If talking about reflux makes your day then this is sooo the place for you. Normally a very boring visit except for the rather large lady, large in the sense that she took up almost 3 chairs and her large son, who took up 2. Now I take Alex to feeding therapy and so on so I see the range of kids....super skinny Minnie's and super big ones with gene disorders that would put me over the edge so I didn't think anything of them in the waiting room. BUT it is a waiting room, a small outdated waiting room that almost turned into a boxing ring b/c I was going to kick that fat bitches ass up and down Tucson Blvd. I don't really like to fight. I like to yell, i'm really good at it but the actual fighting part sort of scares me since it has been many years since it was required of me...Outback Bar...downtown...Myra...Hooter girls....lemon drops....ouch...anyhoo, this is how it goes:
Her: Hi baby, hi
Me: Alex can you say hi, can you wave? (now we all know that he can't but this lady is a stranger and i'm being polite)
Her: How old is he?
Me: Almost 2.
Her:What's wrong with him?
Me: Oh just feeding stuff, tube you know?
Her: He won't eat? he can't?
Me: No, frequent hospital kid, big aversion, we're working on it.
Her: Hospital?
Me: Oh, he's a heart kid....3 chambers...a couple surgeries...he's had so many tubes he doesn't like anything in his mouth.
Her: You can't live like that! when's he going to die?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: He's gonna die right? soon?
Me: uh, no, not today!
Her: so when, you shouldn't make him suffer, having surgery...blah blah blah....
Me: (Ignoring her but seeing red, literally and getting a little tunnel vision)
Her: BLAH, BLAH, selfish, putting him thru....
Me: Are you fucking insane? (standing up, putting stroller behind me) who are you? You aren't my doctor. Why are you here...putting your son thru this? Did I ask your opinion...you don't even know me!!
Her: I'm just saying what I think...Oh, did I offend you?
OK...so I think I growled at her and I definitely lunged at her and somehow the nurse was there and so was Dr. GI who had a look like "oh shit!" on his face and tried to get me in his office. I was still pissed so...
Me: lady, I swear if you are here when I am done with this appt. I'm going to wait for you and you and I can finish our conversation about how offended (with air quotes) I am!!!!
Needless to say I didn't wait because 1. She could totally sit on me. 2. If I had hit her it would have been absorbed by the massive cushioning that she had. 3. I really am to old for someone to call the cops. But it's ok. Sometimes it's good to have these crazy people come and get up in your business. It just reminds me that there are way worse things that Alex's heart...he could have been stupid.
