An Old FB note...but still fitting...from spring training 09

Jen wanted to know why I was on FB at 6 am this morning. Well, I had been up for hours. Now after all day I am so tired. I know that it is only 8:30 but I could sleep for the next 6 days, but can I go to bed? NOOOOO...I have to be up, all the time, at the beck and call of everyone. Waiting for my husband to figure out what he did to his isight camera, waiting for Tyson to stop talking and go to sleep, waiting for the next thing on Alexs' schedule. At some point my face is going to crack open, or my hair will fallout, or maybe (god forbid) I will become immune to the powers of a hershey bar chased by a Pepsi. You would think that the doctors would be concerned that I look like walking death and that I have to dispense a potentially lethal combo of drugs to such a little person, but they're not. They want more. More therapy, more medication, more research. Tyson's school wants more, be a parent helper, mandatory volunteer hours. Major League Baseball wants me to bleed for them. The fund is supposed to be private and anonymous. Not for me. I'm the damn poster child. be at the D'back's clubhouse at 7am on a sunday with 2 kids and full make-up...sure, why not? I'm going to do it again on Monday with the Rockies and hope to God that more of them remember me as Charlie's wife and not as the queen of the Orange Shorts (like some of the D'backs). It will be fine. But my husband will call and complain that he is so tired, his life is hard, that leaning in center field on a Fungo is sooooo hard. He leaves in a week from Port Charlotte to Puerto Rico, on a private plane, to a 5 star hotel, to an island that treats him like he's the pope. My job will be to say "poor you, it is hard, I understand" because at the end of the day it'll be funny...i'll go to bed...my eyes will burn when I close them because they are so tired...I will be unable to sleep..Alex will cough and choke, and dump his own saliva into his lungs. Tyson will hear it and freak out and come to sleep with me, and the cat,the wonderful cannibalistic cat will decide that since there was movement someone better give her a treat or she will bite the crap out of you. Alex will calm down, Tyson will snore, I will lay down...until the alarm goes off at midnight and 2am and 4am for medication and the feeding pump or the next oximeter tests that the docs want. I'll get up and get Tyson ready for school and get thru the day, every day, and stare at the moms at school that are making lunch plans and going shopping...they will smile and tell Alex they are praying for him and then ask me why I didn't make it to Mass. They will offer to help, until I ask them to, then they will disappear, busy, out of town, or just avoid the subject. Tomorrow is ash wednesday (Tyson told me), so for Lent I am parking my invisible jet and taking off the stupid gold bracelets (but I'm keeping the lasso for my husband) and I am giving up Not Sleeping. I'm going to try and give up panic, and worry, and maybe a little shortness of temper (but not to much....i'm still me). Or maybe I'll give up the hershey bar chased by the pepsi (and switch to a kit Kat followed by a coke.)